There Is
by Ofi
Summary: A song fic based on the song "there is" by box car racer. Tomoyo thinks about Eriol as she is on a trip with her mother to the ocean, will it change anything. My first song fic please R&R.


****This vacation's useless  
  
These white pills aren't kind  
  
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive****  
  
Tomoyo Daidouji rests her head on the car window, half watching the scenery flying by. She's trying to remember who said this trip would be good for her, oh yes her mother. Her mother who sits next to her, silent as if they were two strangers instead of mother and daughter. The mother who took one look at her tear stained face and cancelled all of her meetings and planned this trip, a trip all the way to the southern coast of Japan, to an ocean as blue as his eyes. Her head aches so bad, no amount of aspirin has dulled away the pain. "The ocean will be good for me" she thinks, "It wont let me forget you"  
  
****I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9  
  
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights  
  
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have  
  
The days have come and gone  
  
Our lives went by so fast****  
  
He came back for her, stood at her front door with that grin of his. Since then they had seldom been apart, he would stand outside her window and she would sneak out to watch sunsets from anywhere. He told her stories that made her laugh as the fading sun warmed them. His blue eyes would look into hers and hours seemed mere seconds. He would walk her home her hand in his, as they took their time trying to get back in the dark, but those walks always seemed to end so quickly. Everything seemed to end so quickly.  
  
**** I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor  
  
Where i laid and told you, but you sweared you loved me more****  
  
Sometimes she would sleep at his house, when hers was too lonely. He always would let her in and never ask for anything in return. But she felt like she had to give him something so one night she told him, after they had dinner at his house. She told him her feelings for her best friend, feelings she knew would never be returned. "Isnt it funny" she had said "I love her but I helped Syaoran win her" Then he had said one thing "I love you" She didn't have a response for that.  
  
****Do you care if i don't know what to say  
  
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me  
  
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay  
  
That there's someone out there who feels just like me  
  
There is****  
  
"Tomoyo?" her mothers voice snaps her to the reality of the present "How are you feeling?"  
  
She nods and brushes her tears away "Why did he leave mom?" she says suddenly. Her voice sounds so raw and full of emotion that Sonomi looks startled not used to hearing this tone from her daughter or the simplicity of Tomoyo calling her mom.  
  
"He said you didn't love him" she answers with the aching truth. It hurts so much to hear those words, and know how it must have been for him to love her and see her pine for another. "I'm sorry Eriol" she whispers "I'm so so sorry" Then the azul ocean comes into view.  
  
****Those notes you wrote me  
  
I've kept them all  
  
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall  
  
With every single letter in every single word  
  
There will be a hidden message about a boy that  
  
loves a girl***  
  
When he had left for London he wrote her letters, almost every week. They told her about the sunsets and about how much he missed her. His writing always made her smile but she never answered him back. He had promised that he would only be gone for a few weeks to clear a few problems that he, as Clow, had created, but those weeks turned into six months. She was afraid to tell him that she loved him; afraid that it would only lead to a pain she was already familiar with. Those notes are in the bag that rests at her feet, when she received each she though all night what she would write in response. When she sat down in the morning to try to put it down on paper the words never came.  
  
She steps out of the car and walks from the parking lot into the warm sad. With a smile she breaks out into a run towards the ocean, as if it was him standing there with his arms opened, like it was that night. Now as she lets the salt-water lap at her feet, she knows exactly what she will tell him.  
  
****Do you care if i don't know what to say  
  
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me***  
  
Her mother embraces her and kisses the top of her head, no words are needed at this moment. Tomoyo reluctantly lets her mother go and watches her climb up the stairs to her bedroom. She collapses onto the couch and watches the fire until she dozes off, thinking of when he kissed her goodbye.  
  
She awakens a little after midnight and looks at the clock, that little bit of sleep will guarantee she'll be wide away the rest of the night. Off in a distance she can hear the surf crashing down on the beach. It's rhythmic enough to send her to sleep but she hasn't as good rest as the night she fell asleep in Eriol's arms his heart beat lulling her to sleep. "Are you awake" she wonders, she knows it is also midnight in London, but he, like most of the people he is most certainly not like, is most likely asleep, he wouldn't be thinking of the girl wrapped in his arms under a starry night. And now all she wants is to know if... maybe he wont mind the silence.  
  
**Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay  
  
that there's someone out there who feels just like me  
  
There is****  
  
"Hello?" says an awake voice despite the time of night. Tomoyo stays silent for a moment knowing he has the power to sound awake at any time.  
  
"Eriol? Its me" she whispers  
  
"Tomoyo" he says in that low voice that used to let her know he was happy with things.  
  
"I couldn't sleep, I keep remembering the night before you left" she says and immediately feels stupid, what a way to start their first conversation in six months. "I'm sorry" she stutters out.  
  
"No don't be" he says his voice suddenly alarmed as if he was thinking she would hang up. They've both made mistakes, they both realize that, they could've done so many things differently. "I couldn't sleep either, I kept thinking about having you in my arms" 


End file.
